I dusted off my golf clubs the other day, having not played since last summer. I'm a good golfer and considering the number of 'fair time' days are in England you can guess how rarely play. Ask me what my handicap, and I assure you that my golf handicap!
What impresses me is how well you can play for the first time I go to the golf course after such a long break, and how it seems to worsen the longer I play!
What I realized is that it has to do with my expectations. When I play for the first time, I'm thinking I'll be glad if I can only guess that damn little white ball! "And I really do pretty well and am feeling quite pleased with it!
the more times I play, however, the more my expectations become. Next time, do not just want to hit the ball, I decided I want to hit it straight down the fairway. Then the next time I want to hit it 200 yards straight down the fairway. And then the next time I want to consistently hit it 200 yards straight down the fairway.
other scenario is when I go to the driving range and hit a line of beautiful shots, but the second I go to the first tee, a disaster!
Inner Game Golf
I've played many different sports and one thing for sure, as is a lot more about what is going on in his head than most other sports. I think this is a bait for me.
So what happens to me and why is it even the best players, with all the best equipment and the best technique is still struggling to play consistently?
It comes down to what's going on in their heads.
Anyone who wants to conquer golf's master "the inner game." According to Tim Gallwey, author of Inner game of golf, "secret to increase control over our bodies lies in gaining some measure of control over our minds ."
and that's where dating can be compared with golf.
Lesson One: Your expectations affect the internal conversation
As my expectations to change myself so that my inner conversation as my inner talk of changes to my game changes. My internal dialogue moves from "what a great day, I'm just so glad to be here and if I can hit the ball I'm happy, " until "I hit this ball, and I've got to hit it 200 yards , down the fairway.
the same kind of internal conversation also affects your dating expectations. When you go on a date, whether to go with the intent to simply enjoy themselves and get to know your date? Or you tell yourself that this has to be one, and you have to get everything right and have them eating from the palm to the end of the night?
Lesson Two: You tend to "try" and tell yourself that you "got" to do, the more anxious you become
Now, anyone who plays golf knows, this is not a forgiving sport, and the tension is a golfer's worst enemy. As soon as you "try" and tell yourself that you 'got' to do something a certain way, you can create anxiety, which manifests itself in overtightness in your body.
Also in the dating world, the harder you will "try" - that someone or something you did not - you will feel more worried about dating, and that will affect your confidence, performance and enjoy your date.
Chapter Three: But your polished technique, what happens in the head can create an "interference ."
There are hundreds of books and videos on the techniques of golf. I've taken golf lessons that were video-taped, so I could see exactly what I was doing wrong. I even practice with a 7 iron with a special "grip" handle that puts your hands and fingers in exactly the right place. Even with all this, I can still go to the golf course and have a completely disastrous games!
Also, you can know all the tips on how to flirt, or catch the eye of the person who interests you - and you know, hold eye contact for a few seconds longer before moving your gaze. You can wear the "right" clothes, hang out in the "right" place and drive the "right" car, but no matter how "to flirt" or "how to make anyone love you" Of course it goes on, what goes on in his head can create "interference ", such as failures in concentration, self-doubt, low self-esteem and self-criticism, which resulted again in anguish.
Lesson four: If you focus on what you want - that's what I tend to
.After my inner talk has raised their expectations again and again, in the end he adds, "I must be sure not to hit the ****** in the bunker!" Guess where to go?
to focus more on what you do not want to happen on the day, it is likely to end up with it.
The bottom line is that both golf and dating more about the "inner game ."
if you want to change your dating experience, it is not enough to buy the latest fashion, get the latest haircut, die your hair gray, lie about your age or pretend to be someone you're not - as I read on a bulletin board: "Do not try to be someone else is already taken !"
if you want to change your dating experience, you must change what goes into your head.
Dating really is like golf - it's inside out of work
!
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